Summer 2021 (so far)

Hi again! 👋😀 It's been a while, quite honestly I wasn't sure what I would have to share. Our lives are pretty quite. Matt and I go to therapy and maybe a softball game during the week, but really not much happens on a day in day out routine. Like in most cases same old, same old isn't a bad thing.

Last weekend we invited some family over. It was wonderful! I got to hug people and I got to  "talk" to my son's girlfriend. It was nice to hear a little of who she is. Thankful she was meeting some of them for the first time. So I was able to learn a little about her, from her. 😀Lol 

But for real, Matt has always been really "clean" with handwashing and disinfecting and stuff. But 2020 really put me in quietness. With lockdown and and all. I don't think I understood how much it set me back until this weekend.

If we are facebook friends I posted this picture.

Our oldest son had a basball tournament about an hour away. In the past we would have just made the drive. On a rare occassion we might rented a hotel room, but this year we rented a room, packed up the family, including our 5 year old black lab, and planned to stay. We arrived Friday night but Loukas didn't have games until mid- morning Saturday. Sounds doable right? After everyone had choosen their beds we looked for a local food place. It was kind of funny listening to Matt explain to the kids that we would not to just get fast food from just any place. Especially, from the ones we have access to. You know the ones.😉

In my search I found out the town we were in had an A&W. Needless to say that was the hands down winner. Matt and I both love their food, and now so do our kids. Your welcome little Gavrilides (not that they are really little anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️).

After we ruined our kids for other fast food places, we walked next door from our hotel to the Meijer. It was my 1st time in any store in the last year plus. Matt has worked really hard to keep us safe. It was a little overwhelming just walking (riding👩‍🦼) around the store itself. It felt very much like it did when I came home from the hospital. It was bright and busy.We picked up what we needed and I was ready for bed. I have an eye mask that bluethooths to my phone for what my speech therapists calls a brain break.  Matt suggested I use it to just drown out the extra noises. 

Did you know, even when sleeping your ears never shut off? Your brain continues to try and  make sense of noises even while dreaming. Which I guess that makes sense... even before the accident I would hear a noise that would be in my dream but not make sense with the dream. Last week I woke up thinking someone had broke into our house and had shot our dog. When I actuatly woke up enough to understand what was going on. Bowen our dog was just walking from the boys room to the girls room and Matt had fallen asleep to a superhero show that was in the middle of a shoot out seen. I shut off the TV and went back to sleep.

So back to the hotel. I woke up again around 4 am and turned off the TV. As Matt snorred away but the girls, who where in the room with us, got resless. After  the TV got turned off everyone went back to sleep.

We woke up about 8am. Which is great for our family. Got breakfast, love me some hotel waffles, and tried to get ready for Loukas' first game at 10:30. But as is typical of us, more now than ever, but has always been a struggle, the kids and I weren't ready in time to make the game. Matt went by himself. We did make it to game 2 even though it got moved up 30 minutes.

I got to see Loukas make some great plays from short. The weather was beautiful. Sunny and windy. Enough sun to be warm, and enough wind to keep cool. I even asked Matt for some gum. Chewing gum was often what I used when things would get tense during  game. Things weren't tense in the game it just felt "normal" to want to chew gum.  

Chewing gum is a reltively new skill I am working at. Sounds crazy but gum chewing is pretty complex skill.😲 Tounge movement, cheek placement...I'm not really sure how to explain it. Just take my word for it. It's hard! And I am not skilled enough yet to drink water and chew gum. I can't even imagine trying to walk and chew gum at the same time. 🤯Goodness! 

Then out of nowhere my stomach got mad. I mean really mad. I really just didn't feel right at all. I was pretty sure I was going to throw up. I needed to get back to the hotel right then.

 This was for sure one of those times when I hated that our lifes revolve around me and my disabitites. So we  packed up and left. When we did the transfer from wheelchair to car I'm fairly certin I wasn't much help if any with pushing up into a standing poition. I couldn't get my body to do anything I wanted it to do. It was worse than my paralysis. There are certin things I just can't do yet I know what they are and can move enough other muscles to get done what I need. It's often not pretty but I can try. But I could not push through my legs to stand or move my feet in the little shuffle I typlically do to "help". This is where I am thankful Matt did transfers from the beginning, because he is able to adjust when I can't.

I began to feel better just being in the car moving, but not yet 100%. This was the first and hopfully the last time I felt physically ill because my brain was stressed and tired. I hope I never feel like that again. 😕

After getting back to the hotel and all set ready to sleep. I couldn't help but be thankful for my family.

I don't think many families could adjust so well to the junk my family has  adjust to. We don't have many breakdowns. Which I could imagine would happen when a stressful situation happens to a family. I often have to face some type of loss or adjustment daily but my children and husband they suprise and encourage me with how easily they do it. That's not to say they don't have moments, we all do.  Overall they just bless me!❤ I'm not sure how to express how very thankful I am for them.

Laying in bed with my mask on getting ready to nap as they head to the pool, which I had wanted to go with them, I just began thanking God for each of them. A deep, deep gratude for each of them and what they bring to my life. 

So they swam while I napped. When I woke up they had just come back to the room from swimming. When I got out of bed I felt like a whole new person. But by this point in the day I was so behind on my fluid intake. So, we sent Loukas on a mission for fuids for the family and Matt went out to pick up our dinner. We ordered a ton of food for the 6 of us. We ate most of it though. It was a really great day! As the evening crept closer we packed 5 of us to head home. Loukas' team had another 2 games Sunday. Oh and there's the whole thing of him being 18 and all. 😍 Gosh how did that happen so fast?

When we finally got home I went straight to bed. So very thankful to be home where my brain could feel a little more relaxed. But I wasn't the only one. Lol, Bowen found his spot for the night and he was done too!

There were for sure many moments between Friday and Saturday I felt completely overwhelmed. The thought also crossed my thinking Saturday as I lay thinking God for my wonderful family, that the brain is a muscle. Like so many, all, of the muscles troughout my body it will take trips out in public to get stronger. It will not always be the physically ill that I felt at the game, but I could actually get back to a normal speed of thinking and speech. Including the ability of using other body parts at the same time. (Like walking and chewing gum!) Meaning the next time I get tired my legs might work, because I tried, be it unsucessful, this time.

I truly believe that without the interaction I had with my family the weekend before I wouldn't have made it as long as I did this weekend. Every step even those hard ones makes me one step closer to being "normal". It was so important to have both kinds of interractions. As is often the case with a change of seasons, adaptation is hard. Facing the truth again this summer of the things I miss doing, but so very thankful for the people I get to do life with! Make every interaction meaningful, because they are! Even the mundaine ones. I promise! (Something I'm still working on. Even though I see it more now, it is hard to do. Doing the best I can to be in the moment.) 

The thing I learned this weekend, because my life does't point to it at all, tramatic brin injuries are no joke! Holy cow!!