The long road of recovery...
It’s been 4 weeks since my last post and 7 weeks post surgery. Wow that went by really fast. Who am I kidding? My life seems to be flying by, while I’m stuck watching. We’ve hit spring, that and fall are some of our busiest seasons. With all the kids stuff and my therapies life seems to just fly by. The last 7 weeks have been filled with a super quietness, me struggling to talk and not moving much. It’s amazing how much surgery takes out of you. The nursing staff told me not to twist my torso too much or too far, allowing my incision to heal. I wasn’t moving my torso much before so healing has been pretty good, but now I am having to tell myself I can’t do everything my brain thinks I can. I can tell this will be something I have to remind myself often. There are things I can do and things I can’t do. And that’s ok.
Two Sundays ago was the first day I’d been on my feet in 5 weeks. I was worried about having to start all over with walking. Even going back to my first walker that had an arm holder for my left and a super wide base. So Matt said to me when it was time to stand, don’t get too down yourself if it doesn’t go well. Confession time...I am super hard on myself, if you haven’t already gathered that. I agreed that I wouldn’t be upset if I only got a few steps in. I really wanted to see if my brain could get my left hip to move. One side effect of the surgery has been an increase of feeling on the left side. Also bring an increase of nerve pain but that includes uncertainty about if something is actually painful or just has feeling and that’s how my brain is registering the stimulus right now.
My pelvis was fractured during the accident, because of the increase of feeling there’s a little more pain while laying down. Which after surgery is all I did. The ‘new’ hip pain and seeing how I’m getting feeling back it was wondering if I could get my hip to move. I also had some muscle tightness we called tone in my left hip that I used as a crutch. Once it’s gone I have to rely 100% on MY muscles, regardless of how weak. Anyway...I stood with Matt’s help and walked to the kitchen. It felt wonderful! Being up on my feet seriously brought a smile to my face. Another side effect of surgery seems to be a huge jump towards ‘normal’ in many areas. Once I’m warmed up my speech seems to be easier to understand. Matt has said the small walks we’ve taken this week have been more stable and I wasn’t dragging my toe as much. I almost stood by myself once this week.
There is still a lot of work involved in my recovery, but looking back on this last week I am hopeful! I have thought this week I should be able to roll over, and while this true on one hand I was still working on this before surgery. Especially in my bed. It’s crazy how much more difficult this is in your soft comfy bed verses the flat, solid mat table used in therapy. I do feel like my abs kicked in sometime last week and I have better control over them. I haven’t tested this yet, because I’m trying to be careful of my incision that is almost completely healed, but I do feel it’s better. I do need to test this thought so I know how to deal with the thought when it comes around. I think if my abs are working a little more smoothly that might explain the walking too.
The dreams I’ve been having are nothing short of God’s promises to me, given through others but confirmed in my spirit. Last night I dreamt I was at a school function in my wheelchair chair and I rolled over to a stool, stood up, turned and sat down. Like it was nothing. No pain, no struggle. At another point I stood up and walked across the room to a chair. Maybe you are thinking no big deal, or she’ll never do that, it might take a while yet. I truly believe these dreams are visuals to give me hope and a reason to press on. It would be easy to give up. Many people do. I can drink and eat, my family understands me, Matt can transfer me. It would be easy in the hard moments, and there are many, to give up and be happy with where I’ve come. I mean I’m doing things they weren’t sure I’d ever be able to do. As much as I appreciate what Matt does for me, I want to do things by myself.
It’s the little things that also push me forward. On Tuesday last week I did something I haven’t done since the accident. I drank from a straw! My lip strength on the right side is still weak so trying in the middle of my mouth didn’t do much. That was when my speech therapist suggested trying on the left side, and IT WORKED!! There is a flap that attaches to your nose that has to close for there to be suction. I had it looked at shortly after I came home, the doctor said it was weak but moving. My speech therapist gave me some exercises for that flap. Crazy, but it worked! I was so excited.
Like the kissing noise, which I couldn’t do for a few weeks post surgery, but can finally do again! Yay! I’m surprised by what makes me happy. Drinking from a straw takes practice because like drinking from a cup if I’m not careful I could aspirate. Thankfully like my drinking, it is a small amount of liquid, like a sip for you. It is so the small things!
I am incredibly grateful to not be getting sick and being able to drink well. I am grateful that Matt believes I will be standing on my own soon. I am grateful walking, while very s-l-o-w is starting to feel good. I was telling Matt, it’s very strange to have one view of my house most of the time, then stand up and it changes. I starting to finally be able to understand it mentally, again the more my brain wakes up.
Overall recovery while slow for me has been progressing pretty nicely. Hoping to get back to physical therapy soon and see how this effects walking outside.
#TeamGavrilides
Two Sundays ago was the first day I’d been on my feet in 5 weeks. I was worried about having to start all over with walking. Even going back to my first walker that had an arm holder for my left and a super wide base. So Matt said to me when it was time to stand, don’t get too down yourself if it doesn’t go well. Confession time...I am super hard on myself, if you haven’t already gathered that. I agreed that I wouldn’t be upset if I only got a few steps in. I really wanted to see if my brain could get my left hip to move. One side effect of the surgery has been an increase of feeling on the left side. Also bring an increase of nerve pain but that includes uncertainty about if something is actually painful or just has feeling and that’s how my brain is registering the stimulus right now.
My pelvis was fractured during the accident, because of the increase of feeling there’s a little more pain while laying down. Which after surgery is all I did. The ‘new’ hip pain and seeing how I’m getting feeling back it was wondering if I could get my hip to move. I also had some muscle tightness we called tone in my left hip that I used as a crutch. Once it’s gone I have to rely 100% on MY muscles, regardless of how weak. Anyway...I stood with Matt’s help and walked to the kitchen. It felt wonderful! Being up on my feet seriously brought a smile to my face. Another side effect of surgery seems to be a huge jump towards ‘normal’ in many areas. Once I’m warmed up my speech seems to be easier to understand. Matt has said the small walks we’ve taken this week have been more stable and I wasn’t dragging my toe as much. I almost stood by myself once this week.
There is still a lot of work involved in my recovery, but looking back on this last week I am hopeful! I have thought this week I should be able to roll over, and while this true on one hand I was still working on this before surgery. Especially in my bed. It’s crazy how much more difficult this is in your soft comfy bed verses the flat, solid mat table used in therapy. I do feel like my abs kicked in sometime last week and I have better control over them. I haven’t tested this yet, because I’m trying to be careful of my incision that is almost completely healed, but I do feel it’s better. I do need to test this thought so I know how to deal with the thought when it comes around. I think if my abs are working a little more smoothly that might explain the walking too.
The dreams I’ve been having are nothing short of God’s promises to me, given through others but confirmed in my spirit. Last night I dreamt I was at a school function in my wheelchair chair and I rolled over to a stool, stood up, turned and sat down. Like it was nothing. No pain, no struggle. At another point I stood up and walked across the room to a chair. Maybe you are thinking no big deal, or she’ll never do that, it might take a while yet. I truly believe these dreams are visuals to give me hope and a reason to press on. It would be easy to give up. Many people do. I can drink and eat, my family understands me, Matt can transfer me. It would be easy in the hard moments, and there are many, to give up and be happy with where I’ve come. I mean I’m doing things they weren’t sure I’d ever be able to do. As much as I appreciate what Matt does for me, I want to do things by myself.
It’s the little things that also push me forward. On Tuesday last week I did something I haven’t done since the accident. I drank from a straw! My lip strength on the right side is still weak so trying in the middle of my mouth didn’t do much. That was when my speech therapist suggested trying on the left side, and IT WORKED!! There is a flap that attaches to your nose that has to close for there to be suction. I had it looked at shortly after I came home, the doctor said it was weak but moving. My speech therapist gave me some exercises for that flap. Crazy, but it worked! I was so excited.
Like the kissing noise, which I couldn’t do for a few weeks post surgery, but can finally do again! Yay! I’m surprised by what makes me happy. Drinking from a straw takes practice because like drinking from a cup if I’m not careful I could aspirate. Thankfully like my drinking, it is a small amount of liquid, like a sip for you. It is so the small things!
I am incredibly grateful to not be getting sick and being able to drink well. I am grateful that Matt believes I will be standing on my own soon. I am grateful walking, while very s-l-o-w is starting to feel good. I was telling Matt, it’s very strange to have one view of my house most of the time, then stand up and it changes. I starting to finally be able to understand it mentally, again the more my brain wakes up.
Overall recovery while slow for me has been progressing pretty nicely. Hoping to get back to physical therapy soon and see how this effects walking outside.
#TeamGavrilides
I am so glad to hear of your progress. I pray daily that you will walk and talk again. It sounds like that is coming around. I will keep praying and you keep doing. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and progress.
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