Walk outside!

Wow...it seems no matter my intentions I just can’t get this out routinely. 🙂 It truly has been an amazing 3 weeks of recovery for me! Starting with the Friday after my last post...I went for a walk outside!! I have to tell you that walking outside has been on my wish list since I saw people walking outside with their therapists when the snow finally melted here in Michigan. We often would pull up to valet parking, yes I’m that fancy...oh and it’s free, and I would say to Matt someday that will be me. I honestly didn’t think I would be walking outside this summer. It felt amazing! I have a picture to prove it...

                                                                                                                       

The hospital was having their sprinkling system tested. So there was a nice mist all around us. What you can’t see is the incline of the sidewalk or in the courtyard. A couple of firsts for me, using my walker outside, negotiating cracks and edges, walking on cement verses tile flooring, and of course the incline where I’ve only ever walked on flat flooring. After this first I decided I should tackle some stairs. 😯 So, with help, I climbed up 6 stairs. I was so tired after that so instead of walking downhill, again something I’ve never done, I opted for a ride. I did however agree to walk from a spot outside the building inside. My therapist recently asked me what my motivation was, I told her coffee. You know the expensive coffee you treat yourself to once in a while? That coffee. Matt has been treating me Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. We stop inside the building and Matt treats me to coffee. The truth is I just want to be as ‘normal’ as I possibly can, walking would help. Not being attached to the wheelchair. 

Back to the walking, my therapist picked a spot and asked if it was ok. As she was bent down to lock my wheelchair the sprinklers started...pointed right at us. Thankful for me my therapist was leaning down in front of me, I still got pretty wet. Unfortunately the student with us got it fully in the face, poor guy. The guy testing the sprinklers came over and stepped on the head, putting it back in the ground. A greeter from inside the building came out concerned that there might be something wrong. I was laughing so hard. The problem is I don’t make noise yet when I laugh, so you really have to look at my face. Matt assured everyone I was laughing and I did finish the walk inside and got coffee. I joked that this scene would make me famous there, only because it happened right in front of the windows to the visitor/therapy waiting room. It was great! I have so many wonderful stories from friendships at the hospital. I can totally add this to it.

Physical therapy isn’t the only therapy modality where I am seeing noticeable healing. In speech I hit 10 seconds last week. I believe I have yet to hit that this week, but it’s coming. Sunday we went to church and I was able to sing chunks of words instead of one or two words. It was very encouraging. Although my voice seems loud in my head it’s not, thank goodness, I have one tone. Honestly I cannot wait until I can at least sing or play my guitar. Music is so good for me, mentally.

Occupational therapy for me is where I see the least healing. It’s still coming though. I continue to get feeling back in my hand and foot. I remember a little of how excited I was when I could finally get my right hand to my face. I miss my left hand. I’m incredibly thankful for the time OT gives me! I did manage to lift my arm for a weak hug to my husband. Like I said it’s coming.

I am grateful for the ways that I see the healing. Again my prospective is so different than those who have been a part of this from the beginning. I’m learning though stories of those who remember hearing the news. The uncertainty of if I was going to live or not. It breaks my heart, but reminds me not to give up. Matt is always good to remind me how very far I’ve come in this year. We are at the week of 1 year and he has been so good at encouraging me when I am feeling overwhelmed! Thank goodness. Although it’s sometimes frustrating hearing my encouraging words come out of his mouth because he’s heard me say it to him over and over through out our marriage. 

I’ve had some great visits from friends last week. I love the encouragement I’ve received over the last few weeks!! It helps so much to know others see there is a plan for this season. It’s been interesting to sit back and look at what’s going on. Reading back through my prayer journals "Be Still" is the thing I wrote the most. If you know me personally, you know I like to help do stuff. My wonderful mother in law said to me it’s my turn to relax and be taken care of. ❤️ I’m grateful for that thought. I come back to it often. Especially now that it’s back to school time. I currently have a very limited ability to help prepare for the big day. I am trying to remember to "Be Still". I am slowly returning to my new normal.

                                                                  

This piece of art has never meant more to me! I remember seeing it for the first time when I got home and tearing up. This has become a daily thought and prayer. It’s true since I only have control over my thoughts and feelings for that day. Two choices life or death. Joy or depression. Even in the struggles I choose joy!

For all my internal struggles here’s what I do know... my children, a few of which I have worried about at one time or another, are engaging with me and they understand me more. My walking continues to get better and I got to walk outside. My left arm is starting to get feeling and movement. I refuse to live in the weird place where my thoughts overtake my achievements. That may mean really believing those around me or asking them how it’s going and spending less time in my own head. Writing helps, it makes me emotional for a number of reasons, but I can express myself better in writing than using my voice right now. I want to say "Thank you" for reading what I write. It is so good for me to get it out. I’m extremely grateful for where I am today, I can’t wait to see what fun things tomorrow brings.